I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
