my sisters under your porch take her home
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
