Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
