well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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