so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
