u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
