Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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