my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
