Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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