i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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