I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
