I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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