Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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