I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
