No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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