So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
