I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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