Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
