Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
