I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
