I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
