accomplished twins. life is a go
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize