Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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