Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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