I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
