i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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