he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
