Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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