So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
