Small penises have feelings too.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
