**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
