Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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