I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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