I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
