what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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