She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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