Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
