Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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