"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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