Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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