I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
