i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
