You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
