If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
