Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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