he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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