So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
