Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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