You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
