Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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