did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize