I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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