What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
