Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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