What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
