Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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