I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
