My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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