youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
