I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
