he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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