Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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