I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
