Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
