I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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