I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
