I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
