tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize