mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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