There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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