small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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