i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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